Stare at me again and I'll break your nuts.
—Lauren Zizes, Silly Love Songs
Lauren Zizes is a recurring character on Glee. She is an alumna of McKinley High. She is a former member of the New Directions, on the school wrestling team, member of the Old Maid's Club and the Too Young To Be Bitter Club, ran a spying business, is an obsessed fan of the Twilight Saga, spends her Friday nights making out with her cat, and is obsessed with Will's looks in Britney/Brittany.
In Special Education, she joins New Directions, despite thinking Glee Club is stupid. She soon becomes friends with the Glee kids. She is known for being an incredibly good kisser. In Season Two, she holds Puck on a short leash after "rocking his world" during an attempt at "seven minutes in heaven" which barely made it to three. She first appears in the episode Wheels auditioning for the Cheerios.
She was confirmed to be leaving the show as of Season Four, but that changed and she returns in Sadie Hawkins, where she attends the dance. She returned one last time in the series finale, Dreams Come True.
She is portrayed by actress and singer Ashley Fink.
Lauren is on the Wrestling Team as well as President of the A/V Club. She first makes an appearance in the season one episode Wheels where she is seen in a cut scene, wrestling. Before she becomes a member of New Directions, she appears in Hell-O as a member of Sue Sylvester's Old's Maid Club. She wears glasses, but she was seen in Theatricality without them. She seems like the stereotypical fat girl at first with a love of candy and muffins and eats them even when "they all sucked," but there is much more to Lauren. She also has a gothic persona in Theatricality which is seen again in the season two episode Special Education.
When Lauren was a toddler, she entered several pageants and was often successful, her specialty being baby pull-ups. She was on her way to being Little Miss Ohio, but she began putting on weight and was told that she no longer looked the part.
Lauren auditions for the Cheerios, but fails. She appears in a cutaway as Kurt Hummel and his dad are having a conversation about boys and girls doing things the opposite gender would do, bringing up Lauren being on the wrestling team. Kurt tells his dad that her parents had to sue the school. (Wheels)
Sue rounds together a group of unpopular, lonely students to convince Rachel to date Jesse and forget about Finn, calling them the "Old Maid's Club." Lauren is a member. She tells Rachel the story of how she failed to find love with a boy. He was also a wrestler, and their relationship ended after she pinned him down in a match so hard that he got injured. She reveals that she spends her Friday nights making out with her cat and watching Ghost Whisperer. (Hell-O)
Rachel hires Lauren to rig hidden microphones in the choir room to prove that the rest of the glee club are not pulling their weight. Lauren tells Rachel to pay her in Mallomars and Snickers bars. While Rachel sings, Lauren stands outside the room, eating and giving a thumbs up. She later listens to the recording results from the microphone with Rachel, again, while eating. (Laryngitis)
Lauren is the leader of group of obsessed Twilight fans, with whom she proceeds to victimize Jacob, in order to get Robert Pattinson's attention. (Theatricality)
In Britney/Brittany, Lauren and Jacob appear at the homecoming pep assembly to watch New Directions perform Toxic by Britney Spears. While Jacob becomes sexually aroused by Rachel, she is turned on by Will Schuester's dancing. Sue notices them and pulls the fire alarm, causing the entire gymnasium to go into pandemonium. (Britney/Brittany)
Lauren rescues Puck from the porta-potty. He asks her if she will be New Direction's twelfth member at Sectionals and she accepts if she can have 7 minutes in Heaven with Puck along with a box of Cadbury Eggs (which aren't in season). Before the competitions starts, Rachel is desperately trying to buy candies because according to her Lauren won't perform unless she gets them. In the green room, she and the rest of the club are watching how Rachel and Finn argue. Minutes before performing, she is warming up and Puck tells her that he has her back in case she is nervous to which Lauren replies that she is not because she thinks show choirs are stupid. Lauren performs with the Glee Club in all the competitions songs ((I've Had) The Time of My Life and Valerie) and after that, when they win, she stays with the club and also performs the Dog Days Are Over. (Special Education)
She is still with New Directions and performs all the song with New Directions. Here, she wears a Santa hat for the joy of it but Sue demands for the hat, to which she replies that Sue only wants to tease her and wants every present for herself. Lauren accompanies the other glee clubbers to the mall to visit Santa. When she sits on Santa's lap, she tells him,"I would like Puckerman to love me. He's a fox." (A Very Glee Christmas)
She joins the football team with the other girls in order to help the Glee club members on the football team. In contrast to the other girls, she's a fairly effective football player, and is able to knock down several students of the opposing team. In the middle of the game, she performs Thriller/Heads Will Roll. Later, she stays with the girls, cheering for the team and celebrating their victory. (The Sue Sylvester Shuffle)
Puck says that he is in love with Lauren in a voice-over, hypothesizing that it might have to do with the fact that he digs a chick with curves, or perhaps the constant insults she throws at him. In a flashback, it is revealed that their "7 Minutes in Heaven" mentioned in Special Education was actually just "3 Minutes [She'll] Never Get Back," while Lauren claims that he isn't turning her on as much as she thought he would. She is constantly aggressive towards Puck, demanding that he stop staring at her in class and stating that the Valentine's chocolate he gave to her sucked. Later in the choir room, Lauren calls Santana a bitch, which causes the other members of Glee to share their feelings about her, all being negative. Santana says that Lauren just has eyes for her man, referring to Puck, who claims that he is not her man. Lauren confronts Puck believing that he wants a thank you for sticking up for her, but he instead asks her out on a date to Breadstix.Lauren says that she's not desperate and that she needs to be wooed before she'll go out with him. Puck later attempts to serenade her by singing Fat Bottomed Girls for his glee club assignment. Though a successful performance, Lauren finds the song offensive and says it made her "feel like crap." Later, Santana, still under the impression that Puck is hers, asks him out to Breadstix, but he declines. Santana says she could chance for him and then makes some weight related comments about Lauren, which Lauren overhears. Santana then initiates a fight between the two of them, which Lauren wins. Puck asks her out again, and she tells him that if he can "make a formal presentation, [she'll] consider it." Later, in the library, Lauren asks why Puck has not yet made a formal presentation, and he responds that he sung to her, she points out the song was offensive. Lauren tells Puck that he isn't ready to date her, and that she needs more than just a song to get her juices flowing. As she is leaving the library, Puck offers her a Ring Pop and asks her to go to Breadstix the following day. She accepts, but later stands him up, telling him that she forgot about their arrangements. Puck believes that she skipped the date on purpose due to past experiences, and tells her that he isn't that "kind of guy." He continues to tell her that she doesn't like her for the way she looks, but for the fact that she's "an even bigger badass" than he is. She admits that she likes him, but is looking for something serious, and that if he was truly interested, they had to take it slow. Lauren then makes the date for Valentine's Day, but only as friends. They are later seen dining at Breadstix with some of the other members of New Directions to watch Kurt and the Warblers perform. (Silly Love Songs)
Lauren gets excited by Sam's performance in Baby and later in the boys' performance in Somebody to Love. Puck asks her again for a chance but she tells him that she has a master plan that she will tell him later. Later, Lauren asks for advice to Puck on how to perform her very first solo since she gets a little nervous when it comes to singing in front of an audience. Puck tells her that even though she's the most confident girl she knows, she can imagine the entire New Directions in their underwear. Before her performance starts, she asks Puck's help in the guitar and Brittany and Tina's help as backup vocals. Even though she's freaking out at first, she recalls the nerves-calming remedy that Puck once suggested and imagines the entire stripping to their underwear, making her more comfortable and making her dance and sing better that everyone expected. At the end, everyone congratulates her while giving her a group hug. She also performs with New Directions and Sue in Sing. (Comeback)
Lauren attends Rachel's party and gets really drunk. Finn classifies her, along with Quinn, as the angry drunk girl. She's screaming at Puck along with Quinn. Later after feeling bad because a lot of alcohol, she performs with New Directions Blame It (On the Alcohol) (of course, all New Directions were a little bit drunk again). At the end of the episode, she performs again with New Directions Tik Tok but the performance was interrupted by Brittany and Santana's puking incident. But later is praised with the rest of the New Directions for helping keep student alcohol free for a whole, entire month by Principal Figgins. (Blame It on the Alcohol)
Lauren tells Puck she wants to be famous and want both to make a video of them having sex upload to the Internet, but Holly finds out and tells them that that is child pornography. She sings with New Directions and Holly in Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah) and dances with Mike, and notes the presentation of Landslide (during the song she and Puck smile at each other and Lauren rests his head on the shoulder of Puck) and Afternoon Delight. She kisses Puck after he confesses her love, and also asked to join The Celibacy Club, which accepts. (Sexy)
Puck writes an original song, just for Lauren as an apology for offending her with Fat Bottomed Girls. When Puck announces the title, Big Ass Heart, Lauren grimaces after he says "Big Ass," but looks relieved when he finishes with "Heart." Lauren is seen happily grooving to the song, and later remarks to Puck that he is "on a roll." She also sings with Mercedes and girls, Hell to the No. By this episode, Lauren appears to be much friendlier with the rest of the kids in Glee Club. She also sings along with the rest of New Directions at Regionals during Get It Right and Loser Like Me. She is shown celebrating their win and hugs Sam. Finally, she's with the other students when they run to hug Rachel for their efforts with the original songs. (Original Song)
Lauren offers to become Mercedes' manager, and tells her that she is neglected because she lets people walk all over her. She encourages her to make many demands, some really strange and hard to fulfill, telling Mercedes that you can't ask for respect; you have to demand it. She is also shown enjoying Mercedes song Ain't No Way. (A Night of Neglect)
Puck sees Lauren is a little upset after looking at the prom queen crown. She tells him about her past, as a pageant baby and how the pageant board said that she no longer "looked the part" after the Zizes thyroid kicked in. Together, she and Puck break into the records office where they find out about Quinn's transformation from unpopular Lucy Q. Fabray to pretty cheerleader Quinn, which involved a nose job and dyeing her hair. She puts up posters of Quinn's old self around the school but Lauren's plan backfires when people want to vote for Quinn because of her real self. She later feels bad about this, and after she apologized, they become friends. Lauren's "Born This Way" T-shirt reads "Bad Attitude." (Born This Way)
At first, Lauren is in the choir room enthusiastically listening to the Quinn/Finn and Brittany/Santana fights. Then she's present during April and Will's duet: Dreams, and is surprised when April makes a move during the song, but is seen enjoying the duet. At the end, she listens to the lesson for the week. Lauren is talking to his friends of the club on Sam and Puck also reveals that both are the couple named "Pizes" (Santana, Brittany, Kurt, and Sam are not present). She also watch Quinn and Finn's duet I Don't Want to Know and with more happiness in Go Your Own Way. When that song finish, she with her peers blames Sam for "had" a relationship with Quinn and Kurt, supporting Santana, but then she looks surprised when Sam said he now is poor. Finally, she is seen singing background vocals for Don't Stop with New Directions, Stevie, and Stacey. (Rumours)
She is advised by Santana not to make her own prom dress after not finding one that fits at neither Ann Taylor, Basement, or about six different Forever 21s. Then she is seen with Kurt, Tina, Brittany and Santana, trying on prom dresses and Kurt suggests she wears navy. At the prom, she dances with Puck and her friends from New Directions, and appears disappointed when she is not crowned prom queen. Finally, she dances very happy with everyone at the prom with the song Dancing Queen. (Prom Queen)
When Mr. Schue tells New Directions that Jesse will be helping them for Nationals, Lauren also complains about it. She attends Jean's funeral and does back-up vocals during Pure Imagination. (Funeral)
Lauren and her friends sit eating on the stairs at times Square, wanting to know more about the city, but Finn reminded that they should compose. Lauren and Puck try to order a Manhattan, but Will tells them to go to their room with the others to create songs. Then, Lauren supports Quinn's idea of leaving the hotel room to be inspired to create an original song with his friends at the club performs I Love New York/New York, New York. Then she plays pillow fight with the girls and Kurt (except Rachel, who is writing), and the next morning sees the girls sleep with exhaustion. After the competition with New Directions interprets the original song Light Up the World. Upon learning that no place is seen as sad as everyone else. Finally, Lauren and the club are seen holding a small prize from the number 12. (New York)
Mr. Schue tells the glee kids that need to recruit new members, because they lost three (Lauren, Quinn, and Sam), and immediately, Santana blames Puck for not convincing Lauren to be faithful to the club, and a flashback is shown when Lauren walks with Puck in the halls on the first day of school, and said that they must end their relationship and at the same time she quits New Directions because losing Nationals is affecting her reputation. She asks him not to be sad because they will always have "Subway" and leaves. Back from the flashback, Puck says "She is the one that got away... really really slowly." (The Purple Piano Project)
Lauren is seen in the audience during Run the World (Girls). Towards the end of the song she joins in to dance with the rest of the female student body and celebrates the candidacy of Brittany. (Asian F)
She appears briefly during the recap and also in a picture at Nationals 2011 in the trophy case. (Nationals)
At the beginning of the episode, in the middle of the meeting of the Student Council, Tina suggests to do the first Sadie Hawkins dance at McKinley, and even mentions that formed a girl club called the Too Young to Be Bitter Club and occurs a flashback, which shows Lauren with the other girls (including Sugar and Dottie), sad because no one will accept their invitations, she mentions that Puckerman has been the only one to ever invite her to a dance (Sugar thinks it may be because everyone thought she [Lauren] had herpes), but Tina and Becky give encouragement to all.At the dance, she is sitting with Sugar, Dottie and the rest of the girls in the group (except Tina and Becky), with a sad look and discouraged, until Coach Beiste talk to them, who tells them they are flowers, Lauren responds saying that they really are losers. But finally the Coach convinces girls to re-invite the boys, and Sugar tells Lauren that she will if she does, so they shake hands and both are inviting Joe and Artie respectively.
She asks Joe to dance with her, and he accepts. They happily dance throughout the night. When Locked Out of Heaven begins, they both dance. Passing the night, Ryder sings a solo with Artie and Joe in back-up, so she and Sugar dance on foot. At the end, the girls have a meeting again, but this time to disband the group, because everyone had a good night, and Lauren thanks Tina. Tina mentions to the girls that she finds the love of her life and all of them begin to dance happily. (Sadie Hawkins)
Despite the fact that Lauren should graduate this year, she does not make any appearance in New Directions.
Lauren has a very diverse personality. When she was first introduced into the series, she came off as another outsider at McKinley High. Due to her heavy build and glasses, along with her odd mannerisms and behavior, she seems to not fit into any particular group. She seems easily provoked emotionally, sometimes bitter and other times unhinged, such as she when she essentially got horny and lost control of herself during New Direction's performance of Toxic because of Will Schuester.However at some point (possibly upon joining the Wrestling Team), her personality shifted. No longer an outsider and sporadic, she became a strong and confident young woman, who acted as though she ruled the school. Supposedly, this was due to the fact that she was one of the Wrestling team's most dangerous members, giving her cred for being a force to be reckoned with. She used her newly developed confidence to gain the attention of Puck, who she saved after he was bullied by the football team. This confidence has followed Lauren as she joined New Directions.
Lauren, despite her confidence in being able to get what she wants, is not above manipulation and blackmail to achieve her ends. She used this on Puck, forcing him to play 7 Minutes in Heaven in exchange for joining New Directions as their replacement for Kurt, and she attempted to use these methods on Quinn to defeat her as Prom Queen. She also managed to manipulate Mercedes to be a bigger Diva in order to gain kickbacks of her own. Still, Lauren like so many others in the club has a soft side, which has begun to demonstrate itself with Puck and the New Directions.
It is mentioned in Hell-O, when Lauren is explaining why she is in the Old Maid's Club, that she had a crush on a guy on an opposing wrestling team, but she ended up rupturing his scrotum and ending her run for his heart.
- Main article: Puck-Lauren Relationship
Lauren rescues Puck after he spends 24 hours locked in a Portapotty. Later, Puck asks her to join the glee club seeing as Kurt transferred to Dalton Academy, and the New Directions need a twelfth member. She agrees on the condition of spending seven minutes in heaven with Puck, as well as being given a carton of Cadbury Eggs, which she claims will be difficult to find as they are not currently in season. When she doesn't return his feelings after finding out he's a bad kisser, she claims she originally liked him because she thought he was mixed race. Puck steps up the effort to win Lauren over and, in time, he succeeds. By the end of the second season, they are still happily together, however in the third season premiere The Purple Piano Project, Lauren breaks up with Puck, quitting the New Directions in the process.
Joe and Lauren dance together at the Sadie Hawkins dance.
- Lauren and Brittany are the only two members of New Directions that are not slushied on screen since Season Two.
- Main article: Lauren's Quotations
|Directors||Emma Pillsbury • Finn Hudson • Holly Holliday • Kurt Hummel • Rachel Berry • Sam Evans • Will Schuester|
|Members||Alistair • Jane Hayward • Madison McCarthy • Mason McCarthy • Myron Muskovitz • Spencer Porter|
|Alumni||Artie Abrams • Blaine Anderson • Brittany Pierce • Quinn Fabray • Finn Hudson • Kitty Wilde • Kurt Hummel • Mercedes Jones • Mike Chang • Noah Puckerman • Rachel Berry • Roderick Meeks • Sam Evans • Santana Lopez • Skylar • Tina Cohen-Chang • Unique Adams|
|Former Members||April Rhodes • Joe Hart • Jesse St. James • Lauren Zizes • Matt Rutherford • Rory Flanagan • Sugar Motta • Sunshine Corazon • Marley Rose • Jake Puckerman • Ryder Lynn|
|Related||New Directions Boys • New Directions Girls • Dalton Academy Warblers • Sue Sylvester • Dakota Stanley • Bassist • Drummer|